Christmas brings out the stupid lyrics

Frankly, there is nothing more beautiful than a well-sung Christmas carol. Whereas I am accustomed to listening to the elegant as well as the traditional hokey carols, there are certain songs that I just can't hack.

The songs that grate my nerves the most are the ones with the stupid lyrics. Although, in saying that, I must add that songs sung by adults who pretend to be children, or, by adults who pretend to be animals, or, songs sung by cats, dogs or monkeys also bug the hell out of me. I also can't stand super sappy songs, like that one about the Christmas shoes. I understand that this makes me cold and insensitive, but, I never claimed to be nice.

The Beach Boys' "Little St. Nick" aggravates me to no end. The line that does it every time is: "Christmas comes this time each year." Um, yeah. It sure does. At least, that's what my calendar says. Why state the obvious? Were the creative forces behind the Beach Boys that hard up for a line?

In the 1980s hit by Band Aid, called "Do they know it's Christmas?" there are plenty of what I'd consider stupid lyrics. This song, released in the mid-80s, was written by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure, who collected a group of their British chums (including the likes of Sting, The Police, U2, Culture Club...) in order to create a song that would help to fight the famine in Africa. It was a nice idea, however, knowing that the song was written as a relief for the famine in Africa, one has to question the true meaning of these lyrics. The title, alone, wreaks of ignorance. "Do they know it's Christmas?" I'm assuming here, but, since Christmas is a holiday which celebrates the birth of Christ, and is, in fact, a Christian holiday (let's not even get into the history of that right now), it would be safe to assume that the Africans who were affected by the famine were not Christians (although, Western Religion has made its way to Africa, it's by no means the central religion of the region).

How is it that a song meant to raise funds to help the starving can also belittle them and still be played each year? Take a look at the following lyrics: "Well, tonight thank God it's them instead of you." Granted, this line was written so that the world (or Britain) would appreciate the fact that it isn't starving... but it still seems rather ill-intended. The next awful line (or two), "Here's to you, raise a glass for everyone. Here's to them, underneath that burning sun." is hideous as well. The message: Here are these poor Africans, starving, so, let's drink and toast to them.

Finally, and this is the worst line in the song... "And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time." Yeah. Um... would someone please tell Bob and Midge that Africa NEVER gets snow?

Now, before you go on to assume that I'm a complete Grinch, keep in mind that I love songs like "Silent Night" and "Hark the Herald Angels" and "The Messiah." It's not that I hate Christmas, I just hate stupid songs. And if I have to hear that hippopotamus song, or the freakin' chipmunks or "Grandma got runover by a reindeer" one more time, something's going down.

Not Made in America

As I go through life, I sometimes find things to be, well, not right. This bag of doggy treats is a prime example of something that is not right.

"American Rawhide Chews" that are made in Mexico.

Interesting, to say the least.