Searching

Love is Masochism

From a woman's perspective... This sounds vaguely familiar. I talked about this earlier in the semester, with regard to my situation, and why I am a 40-year-old woman with no desire to be in a relationship.

For me, the inherent problem with love is that it involves a complete release of emotions that I'm not capable of releasing. It's not that I'm not willing, rather, I truly believe I'm not able to express them. That makes me cold to most people.

***As a parent, I am completely in love with my daughter, but, that is a unique love that only a parent could comprehend. It is nothing like the love between two adults who are sexually, emotionally, physically, whatever.***

For a very long time, I've realized that I harbor a coldness about myself when it comes to relationships with men. What is terrifying about this, is that I am an incredible actress. There are very few people who really know me, and only one man who does... did. I can act like I care... I can act like I'm giddy or silly or stupid, as Mike put it, but, that's not love. It's acting. Often, I find myself acting one way around one person, and completely different around another person. Neither know me, really. I just don't allow them to get that close to me.

As I do with my family, I build that proverbial wall around my heart and disallow anyone to penetrate it. I act as if I care, but, in all actuality, I don't. Sometimes, I act so well that I almost fool myself into believing that I could be falling in love, but, when all is said and done, and I'm able to walk away, unscathed, I didn't.

I get over relationships quickly, and never look back. I don't spend weeks, months, years, whining about them, or crying about them. I don't understand how people can do that to themselves. Love is masochism. I've yet to experience anything related to love that isn't masochism.

It's a bewildering topic, Mike. Thanks for presenting it to your fanbase.

New Poetry

The conception of a joke

Secrets scorched
Further than exposure,
Wedged in a web
Of burnt deceit.
Fantasize about me
But carry no ache.
Promises
Sink to
Another wound.

A New Dress for Anne

This was a quick project! I had purchased the material for this dress several months ago, but, had put off sewing the dress until this morning. After measuring Anne and finding ribbon to match it, it took me about an hour to make it.

I love it!

Anne loves it, too!

I'm not certain about the ribbon I selected for the straps. I want to add something behind it, like a thicker, wider ribbon, so that it doesn't cut into Anne's shoulders. What do you think?

The best thing about this dress is that I made it a little bigger than she needs it to be right now, so that she can wear it next summer, too.

Gargoyle

Three foot
Monster
Also known
As
Gargillys
Or Gargles

Can be any
Colors

Evil
Things act
Up when
Near

By Joseph A. Missler
22 June 2008

LUSH of the Irish

No, this isn't a joke. This actually happened to me, Amy Kalvig, today.

Last week, I went to a few garage sales with my sister, in the hopes of finding summer clothes for my six (and a half) year-old daughter, Annie. At the last sale of the day, it appeared I had hit the jackpot.

There, on a clothesline rack, were several t-shirts that seemed to be just the right size for Annie. As I sorted through the various t-shirts I found Hershey's Chocolate, Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Bazooka Bubble Gum, and, a St. Patrick's Day shirt, that was all green, with a tasteful shamrock and the words "Luck of the Irish" on the front. Annie was so proud to have the Irish shirt, as she's very proud of her Irish heritage. (Miss Annie O Keenan!)

I realized, as we checked out, that these shirts were really adult smalls, but, considering how teenagers wear their shirts extra tight these days, they fit Annie like a charm.

I paid for the items, brought them home, washed them and put them away.

This morning, as I was getting ready for school, Annie quickly dressed, putting on the St. Patty's Day shirt and a pair of jeans. "Cute," I thought as she headed out for my sister's car.

Some five hours later, after I'd picked up Annie, and brought her home, and as we were getting ready to play Webkins, I looked at her shirt and realized what it said.

Before I tell you what it said, bear in mind that Annie went with my sister and her family to an appointment at the county offices... and probably to the grocery store... who knows where all she was.

The shirt did NOT read "Luck of the Irish" as I had thought when I bought it, washed it, dried it, hung it up, then put it on Annie. No. It read:

"LUSH O' the Irish."

Yes, in fact, my six (and a half) year-old daughter wore THAT all day today.

My eyes grew large and Annie said, "What?"

"Your shirt. It doesn't say Luck, it says Lush."

"What's a lush?"

"Basically, an alcoholic," I said.

"Oh no!!! Oh no!!! I hate this shirt!!! Get it off me!!! Get it off me!!!"

Call me a bad mother, but, I couldn't help but to laugh and laugh when I realized the I made such a dumb and embarrassing mistake! Annie, however, didn't share my good spirit. She was livid. I wanted to call a friend and tell her what a dope I was, but Annie was furious and felt humiliated. I even told her that it was all my fault... as I'm the one who bought the darned thing... but Annie couldn't see it.

I told her she could put on another shirt, but, I had to get a photo of her in this one first.

Needless to say, she was super grumpy about it, but, finally relented and allowed me to photograph her in the now, infamous, Irish shirt.

Sharing Ancestoral Art

On a recent trip to Chicago, I discovered that my Great-Grandmother Trudeau enjoyed altered/collage art! This thrilled me, as it's also my favorite genre of art.

I found not only a gorgeous planter and magazine rack she had altered, but, a bowl she had altered with cigar bands. When I realized it was an altered piece, I grabbed my camera and snapped a few pictures.

Later, when I'd arrived home, one of the members of my rubber stamp pass it forward group, Snagging Stampers (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/snaggingstampers/) offered a large collection of cigar bands. I had a primitive wooden bowl I'd recently purchased at an antiques auction, so, I figured I'd use that and copy my Great-Grandmother's project.

In the center of her bowl, my Great-Grandmother placed an image of a woman, presumably, from an advertisement or label. In order to give mine more of a personal touch, I used a photograph of my daughter. I had color copies made of the photo, then cut the image in a circle. I used a Kryon Gold Leafing pen to create a background.

I love my finished product, though, I've realized that when my labels dried on the bowl, they buckled a bit between the bowl and the labels. I'd soaked them, then Mod-Podged them onto the wooden bowl. I wonder if the bowl had been cleaned with an oil-based cleanser before I purchased it? Perhaps, I should have sanded it?

At any rate, I coated the entire bowl with Golden Gel Medium, which gave it a nice shine and protection from the elements.

Let me know what you think! Whose bowl do you prefer (as if you'd really tell me the truth!)? My bowl is on the bottom right, and features Annie in the center. Great-Grandmother's bowl is the top left. Her clay covered planter (which contains the coolest and neatest items imbedded on it) is also shown.

An unusual obsession

My dog, Lucky, has currently become obsessed with our aquarium. It's strange that we've had this aquarium for years, but she's just now noticing it.

Chrysocolla Necklace

I made this necklace over the past two days. It is made of Peruvian Chrysocolla beads and silver plated findings. I love the earthy look of the Chrysocolla beads and the way it ranges from earthy green to light blue in a single bead.

This necklace would retail for way more than I'm asking for it ($30) -- $75-$100. It's 25 inches long.

Let me know if interested!

Jewelry made by me!

I made these necklaces for two friends... and I absolutely love them! The blue one is more simple, in style, howevever, the purple one is done by links, which is a bit more complicated than stringing beads.

The purple one would retail for $18, while the blue and black one would be $15.

Trick-Or-Treat!!!

Annie dressed as a Cowgirl, and her friend, Alli, dressed as a vampire. The girls had great fun, and, Annie lasted twice as long as she ever has! I'm glad it's only a two-hour deal in Bellevue!

Oh... the last pic is of Troy and Missi -- the lovebirds!!

Amazing '70s Signage from

Wow... do I remember this... sigh... was it really 35 years ago???

The Electric Company season 5 opening titles

This is the best learning to read show EVER!!!!!!!!!

A recent visit to Chicago

Dad, Annie and I went to Chicago to visit family and so that I could attend my 25th Eighth Grade Class Reunion from St. Francis of Rome School in Cicero. The trip was wonderful, and Annie made a "New Best Cousin Ever" in my cousin, Dave. Here are some photos from our trip!

Annie and Dave, Annie and Gramma, Aunty Barbie, Uncle Bill and Annie.

Unfortunately, the photos I took from the class reunion didn't turn out at all. I was disappointed, until I began receiving links to other classmates' pictures! Now, I can scrapbook the event!

Altogether, the trip was wonderful and I am so glad that I went!

The History of Columbus Day

Okay, this is really off topic, but, amusing to some degree. I suppose you have to know kindergartners, in order to understand the humor in this.

Each day, I ask Annie what she did at school today. Since today, she came outside wearing a Columbus hat, I figured it was a lesson, so I asked her about it.

The following is a transcript (pretty much, verbatim, too) of the conversation between Annie and me (I'm the Mom).

Enjoy -- and Chuck, don't be mad!! Annie's too young to know the whole truth about Columbus!!

Amy

Mom: What did you learn at school today?
Annie: Nothing, we just played, ate lunch, had two recesses and played.
Mom: Isn't today a special day?
Annie: No... Yeah
Mom: What is it?
Annie: Columbus Day.
Mom: What's so special about Columbus?
Annie: He sailed in a ship.
Mom: From where?
Annie: Spain.
Mom: And where did he go?
Annie: Spain.
Mom: Well, yes, he lived in Spain, and he boarded his ship in Spain, then, he traveled across??
Annie: Spain.
Mom: The ocean?
Annie: Oh, yeah.
Mom: And, where did he go?
Annie: Spain.
Mom: He went, by ship, from Spain, across the ocean, to Spain?
Annie: Yes.
Mom: Okay, well, what did he do when he arrived back in Spain?
Annie: He met some Indians.
Mom: What did he do to the Indians?
Annie: He liked them.
Mom: Oh, really? Was he mean to them?
Annie: No.
Mom: Are you sure?
Annie: Mom, he didn't kill them.
Mom: Okay, so, Columbus liked the Native Americans?
Annie: No, he liked the Indians.
Mom: Well, Indians are people from India, right? So, Native Americans are people from America.
Annie: No, they were Indians.
Mom: Okay, so Columbus liked the Indians.
Annie: Yes. And then they liked him, too, and so they cooked him dinner.
Mom: Oh, the Indians cooked Columbus dinner?
Annie: Yes. And then he got back on his ship.
Mom: And where did he go?
Annie: Back to the island.
Mom: What island?Annie: You know! Spain!
Mom: And, what did Columbus do when he was back at the Island of Spain?
Annie: Mom, he went to the park.
Mom: He went to a park?
Annie: Yes. He went to the park and played.
Mom: Okay. I didn't know that Columbus went to a park.
Annie: Well, it was an amusement park.
Mom: And, what did he do there?
Annie: I don't know... rode roller coasters?
Mom: Ohhhh... okay.
Annie: Can I go now?
Mom: Yes. Thanks for sharing your day with me.
Annie: You're welcome.

First Day of Kindergarten!!!

Today is Annie's first day of kindergarten. She has Mrs. Fox as a teacher, and we are thrilled! Uncle Kenny had Mrs. Fox, too, as did Matthew and Joey, and we all love her!

Only one of her preschool friends (Savannah) is in her class. Annie was so happy to see her. The other children are in the other kindergarten with the new teacher, Miss Ashley, or, aren't attending ICS this semester. Annie did see Daria and Brook before class, though. She was thrilled to see them, as well.

Annie was a little hesitant today, to let go of me. It's scary going to school on the first day. I hope she isn't the only girl to wear her plaid jumper. On the playground, it was a sea of navy blue, khaki and red shirts, skorts and slacks, and nary a jumper. I'm certain Annie won't notice, but as intelligent as she is, she just may decide to wear her skort tomorrow.

The pictures I took are a bit blurry because of the high humidity, but I'm sharing them anyway.

I can't believe my little baby is in kindergarten!!!

Jack ~ Our New Golden Retriever Puppy

Our neighbor's daughter needed to give away her 13 week old Golden Retriever puppy, and, even though my brain kept saying NO, once I saw him, I couldn't resist!! We named him Jack, and he has delighted Annie, Lucky and me for the past week! He is a very well-mannered puppy, slightly timid and very mellow. We adore him! Well, Lucky doesn't exactly adore him... she tolerates him... but Annie and I love him!

the trouble with children

The children are Becca, Joey, Cassie and Emma. Vince is the victim!

An Ice Cream Break

Annie loves ice cream, almost as much as I do! Here she is, taking in a delightful M&M flurry! She's so darned cute, if I do say so, myself.